Single Mom Embraces Solo Holidays After 17 Years

For the first time in 17 years, a single mother is spending the holiday season alone. The author, who has served as the family's holiday planner since her teenage years, found herself without her three children for both Thanksgiving and Christmas due to a parenting plan with her ex-husband.

After an initial period of nervousness, she has fully embraced the solitude. She utilized the time to travel to Mexico for Thanksgiving and plans a trip to Orcas Island for Christmas. Rather than adhering to strict traditions, she has simplified her celebrations, focusing on personal rest and creative work.

The author's history with holiday planning began at a young age. After her father died right before Christmas when she was 15, she stepped in to organize the festivities because her mother did not want to.

This role continued into adulthood. Even after moving into her first apartment, it became the center for all family gatherings. When she had children in her early 20s, her ex-husband was rarely interested in participating in holiday rituals such as shopping for gifts or decorating.

She continued to carry the traditions of her southern family forward. However, logistics regarding school closures and her parenting plan resulted in her three children spending both holidays with their father this year.

Learning to let go of control was difficult. In the early hours of Thanksgiving Thursday, the author flew to Mexico. She forced herself to travel far away to ensure she could actually relax.

The trip was complicated by the fact that her children were recovering from the flu. She texted her ex-husband constantly to monitor their symptoms, though cell service was inconsistent. Despite the worry, her ex took the children to the doctor and made medication decisions without her oversight.

Upon returning home, she found that the world had not fallen apart. Her house was messy, but her children were safe, healthy, and happy. They had a great time with their dad, and the author enjoyed walking in the sun and eating molcajete and charred octopus.

Following the success of her solo Thanksgiving, the author booked a trip to Orcas Island for December. It will be the 24th anniversary of her father's death. She plans to walk the quiet streets, visit with wild turkeys, and enjoy the landscapes.

She intends to take herself out to dinner and rest by the fireplace in a quiet rental. She is packing books, cozy pajamas, and a box of artifacts from her childhood to use as inspiration for editing her book.

Usually, she has to cram creative work in between caring for her kids and her day job. She looks forward to several days of focusing on activities entirely of her choice. She has also resisted the urge to decorate a large tree, opting instead for a $10 Charlie Brown tabletop tree from Trader Joe's decorated with trinkets from Mexico.

Despite eschewing major festive swings, the author still plans to do something special with her children. The day after Christmas, she is taking them to a mom-and-pop restaurant for their favorite savory treat: steamed clams and crab legs.

The children are excited about the feast and do not seem to mind the lack of a pile of gifts. The author described the plan as "Books, socks, and seafood," which the children enthusiastically approved.

Her own excitement about the totally solo holiday grows every day. She does not know exactly what it will feel like or mean to her, but she is eager to find out.