How a 3.5-Year Career Break Led to Self-Discovery

At age 42, Himal Mandalia had achieved what many would consider the pinnacle of success. As head of technology for GOV.UK, he commanded the UK government's official digital presence and enjoyed a comfortable salary. Yet beneath this professional triumph lay a deeper struggle—one that would eventually send him on a 3½-year journey of self-discovery across the globe.

What began as a planned six-month career break in April 2022 transformed into an extended odyssey that unearthed hard truths about his need for control, his restless nature, and his lifelong feeling of being different. Through travel, therapy, and eventual diagnosis, Mandalia learned that the most important journey wasn't across continents, but inward toward self-acceptance.

Mandalia's path to tech leadership was anything but linear. Growing up with a difficult childhood, he missed significant school time and drifted through his twenties without clear direction. By age 32 in 2012, he had hit what he describes as a low point, feeling his life was going nowhere.

The turning point came in 2013 when he landed a software developer position at a content marketing agency. Though he had been coding as a hobby and volunteering on relevant projects, this role formally launched his technology career. His passion for designing services that support people's needs eventually led him to government contract work in 2014.

By 2021, Mandalia had achieved what he calls 'beyond my wildest dreams' by becoming head of technology for GOV.UK. However, after more than a year in the role, he reached a natural breaking point where he needed to step away—not just from work, but to address personal issues rooted in his childhood.

Mandalia's journey began with good intentions. He planned to write his memoir and work on himself while exploring the world. He flew to New Zealand and moved to a new destination every week, visiting Bangkok, Singapore, and Ho Chi Minh City. But instead of finding peace, he discovered an uncomfortable truth about himself.

Wherever he went, he carried his need for control. Even when sitting in a café attempting to relax, he felt compelled to plan his next four weeks in meticulous detail. This compulsion left him exhausted, leading him to wonder if he was the only person to ever burn out on a career break.

I was exhausted and wondered if I'd become the only person to burn out on their career break.

After six months of this frenetic pace, Mandalia made Melbourne his base and attempted to slow his travels. Yet the underlying patterns remained. It wasn't until mid-2024, after 18 months on the road, that he finally returned to the UK and began to understand what was really happening.

Throughout his life, Mandalia had always felt different from others. During his travels, he met neurodivergent people who resonated with his experiences. In October 2024, at age 44, he received an ADHD diagnosis, followed by an autism diagnosis in May 2025.

These diagnoses explained lifelong patterns that had both hindered and helped him:

• Constant restlessness and inability to sit still
• Shifting between hyperfocus and complete disengagement
• Applying extraordinary effort to projects, then walking away when bored
• Developing an internal 'drill sergeant' that demanded 80-hour work weeks

The diagnosis reframed his entire life story. ADHD had prevented him from sitting still and maintaining continuity, but it also drove him to constantly learn new skills, which contributed to his professional success. As Mandalia notes, 'It's not something I can hate.' Medication helped slow him down, but the real work was emotional.

In early 2025, Mandalia began the difficult process of dealing with the emotional baggage he had carried around the world. He describes it as 'opening a warehouse full of boxes that I was scared to look inside.' Years of shame about being different had built up, requiring him to forgive how unkind he had been to himself.

This process of reparenting himself became the cornerstone of his transformation. He learned to recognize the patterns he had carried and, for the first time, meet his needs instead of overriding them. This meant replacing internal pressure with permission and building routines that supported rather than drained him.

I began replacing pressure with permission and built routines that supported me rather than drained me.

The most profound shift was learning to accept himself without needing constant stimulation or achievement to justify his existence. This acceptance allowed him to simply be present in the moment—a skill that had eluded him his entire life.

By June 2025, Mandalia had channeled his experience into action, founding ADHD Pathfinding, a nonprofit dedicated to improving ADHD care across the UK. But his greatest discovery wasn't organizational—it was philosophical.

His journey taught him that the only thing we truly have is the moments. There are a finite number of them, and when they're gone, that's it. The only way to ensure you don't miss them is to slow down and be present.

Despite having seen more of the world than most people, Mandalia realizes he missed most of it because he was going too fast. Whether someone's 'fast-forward' mode stems from ADHD, unhealed trauma, or something else entirely, he believes that understanding these patterns makes it possible to slow down and feel more connected to life.

Himal Mandalia's journey from tech executive to self-aware traveler offers powerful lessons for anyone feeling trapped on the achievement treadmill. His story demonstrates that career breaks can become transformative periods of growth when we allow ourselves to confront uncomfortable truths.

The path to self-acceptance isn't about fixing what's broken, but understanding what makes you different and learning to work with it rather than against it. For Mandalia, his ADHD wasn't a flaw to overcome—it was a part of himself that, once understood, could be channeled into purpose.

Perhaps most importantly, his experience reminds us that slowing down isn't a luxury or a sign of weakness. In a world that constantly demands more, choosing presence over productivity might be the most radical and rewarding decision we can make.